I attended this workshop on characters and learned the most amazing things. The first thing I was told is that the center of your character lies in their ability to care about something. This will make your reader care.
Example: Assume that Joanna Mott is married, insecure about her looks and her identity, and is devastated by her discovery that her husband is having an affair with their attractive single next-door neighbor, Felicity. As a reader you know that Joanna has abandonment issues from childhood, though presently she doesn’t even know the word exists. She simply feels unattractive. You know from the narrative that she was left in the care of her aunt as a child and grew up with her female cousin, Miss Alabama.
Now you have the makings of a sympathetic character with an element about which she truly cares. You’ve made her a wife who feels extremely unattractive with rational insecurities who desire more than anything to keep her marriage intact. You’ve assigned a caring element to the character and thus have committed her to a stance by which she will live.
This is the character’s dominant dynamic. You can now write with more assurance that you know where you are going. The character who cares passionately about something, and is willing to make a stand because of it, is worth bothering with.
Alfred Hitchcock said it best:
“First you decide what the characters are determined to do, and then you provide them with enough characteristics to make it plausible that they will do it.”
Then ask yourself what makes them tick. Here you are free to be creative, so long as it’s plausible, for no one ever knows undisputedly what causes people to behave the way they do. Why does the rich housewife steal? Was she poor as a child or is it the thrill of pursuit when she gets away with it?
Next remember that character is always linked to contest. Scarlett is nothing unchallenged by the Civil War. What are Romeo and Juliet without the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets? “To Kill a Mockingbird” is left adrift without the prejudices of the south coupled with the fragile innocence of Boo Radley.
Another good thing to do is tag your characters. Give them names that distinguish them, names that evoke images and feelings in the reader’s mind before the characters even begin their journey with the reader. Assign them characteristics that make them stand out. In the story above regarding Joanna, she has arms as long as a monkey’s attached to hands as small as an infants. As a child she was known to swing from anything that dangled, causing her aunt to fret that her limbs would get even longer. Now fully grown, she tucks them one across the other, anxious for others not to notice. Regardless of her efforts, they notice.
Add contradictions. Play against the norm. Surprise the reader, especially with the villain. Give them human qualities. If the antagonist is after the protagonist’s husband, craft a scene where the antagonist is wounded when she is put down in public by her mother, who favors the younger brother and sister. The antagonist may be an evil, conniving husband stealer, but this scene will show she’s also very human.
Next, give your reader some idea of how your character looks, but allow enough room for them to use their imaginations. Use tags. Scarlett’s main of hair is a tag. Auntie Mame’s cigarette holder is a tag. Kojak’s lollipop is a tag. The list goes on. Get creative. Instead of your character having a cat, how about a miniature pet pig she takes for walks on a leash?
Years ago when I was selling insurance, a client had two of them. They climbed under the table where we sat and tried to eat my shoes.
After this, you will have to identify your characters abilities, speech, mannerisms, and attitudes. Only then is your character fully-fleshed. Once you’ve done that, simply give your character something to do. Put him in a tight spot. Craft that which your character wants more than anything and send him on his journey in pursuit of it, with plenty of obstacles in his way.
When you design a sympathetic, flawed character, you have the first element of a story. When you construct that which is important to him and why, you have the inner essential of a story. And when you take that flawed character with his specific passions and rationalized behaviors and place him on a path to discovery and change, you have the makings of a story worth reading.
And always remember the core of your character lies in his actions. If Joanna, in my example above, is terrified of being abandoned and swears she will do anything to keep her husband from leaving her and does, think how effective it will be when she finds she can not only let go and move on, but triumphs because of it.
This is the essence of characters we can’t forget. They have human fears, human desires and the ability to rise above their circumstances, to conquer, and to change. These are the characters we can’t get enough of.
The teacher who spoke to me of what makes a good character left me feeling I could indeed create memorable characters. I just had to follow the rules. I can do that. I know you can, too. When you are working on your next novel, may you be blessed when creating your characters. May you find the right words to bring them to life. May you dazzle your reader with their antics. And may they forever leap off the page.
Amen.
Jackie Lee Miles is the author of Roseflower Creek, Cold Rock River, Divorcing Dwayne and All That’s True (to be released January 2011). Visit the website at http://www.jlmiles.com. Write to the author at Jackie@jlmiles.com.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
GETTING AN AGENT AND KEEPING ONE
I tend do to things backwards. First I got my book sold, then, I got an agent. I was at this conference and met the president of Cumberland House Publishing, who sent word that they wanted to publish my debut novel. Soon after, I received in the mail a document requesting my notarized signature. Cool! Then I realized I knew nothing about the ins and outs of a publisher’s contract and immediately got out my copy of Guide to Literary Agents.
I stumbled across an agency that listed James Patterson as one of their clients. I was clueless to the fact that they no longer represented him. In truth it was his earlier books that they’d sold. Even so, had I known I would have been duly impressed. They also listed the words NO SOLICITATION. Now why would they include themselves in Guide to Literary Agents if they didn’t want to have inquiries? My thoughts exactly.
I promptly called them up. A very pleasant voice greeted me on the phone. I explained that I was a newbody-nobody, but had sold my book and needed representation. Did they have an agent there that might be interested in me? She told me to hold on and eventually connected with me one of their agents who said she would not represent me, even though I had sold my novel, unless she truly liked it. That sounded reasonable. I asked her if I could send it to her. I went on to explain that I needed her answer yesterday. She laughed and said to overnight it and she’d take a look. I did. She called me the next evening and told me that it had probably happened to her before, but she couldn’t remember when, that she’d sat down to read a manuscript and didn’t get up until she’d finished it.
I said, “Does this mean you’ll represent me?” She laughed again (I liked her immensely already), and assured me she would. Her name was Sarah Piel and she was with Arthur Pine Associates, now known as Inkwell Management.
Sarah did a good job for me negotiating my contract and I got busy with my second novel. By the time that I’d finished it Sarah was no long with Arthur Pine. She’d left the industry to birth children and didn’t bother to tell me. Worse, Arthur Pine no longer existed. By now, they’d merged with the two other agencies to form Inkwell Management and no one at Arthur Pine, not even Sarah, had made mention of me to any of the agents there. I would have to start querying.
I got busy and composed what I felt was a strong query letter and started sending it off. Eventually I sent it to twenty-five agents in N.Y. and managed to hear back from twenty-three of them to either send the first three chapters or in many cases the entire manuscript. I was tap-dancing on the clouds. I figured I only had to get an acceptance from one of them and it had to be a numbers game. Surely one of the twenty-three would want me. After all, I was already published and now touring with the Dixie Darlin’s, four nationally published authors with a passion for promotion that had managed to make one-hundred appearances. Piece of cake.
Never slice your cake until someone’s ready to eat it. One by one all twenty-three agencies wrote back, with several saying some pretty nice things. Regardless, they also added the word, BUT, at the end of their last sentence. BUT ~ it didn’t fit into their list, BUT ~ they couldn’t determine where to place it. BUT ~ they had just purchased something similar. You name it ~ there was a BUT at the end of each letter. So much for it being a numbers game.
I was too discouraged to send out another host of queries. The first batch had cost me a small fortune considering they had all asked for hard copies and I’d sent each of them a fresh one. Okay, I admit I reused one manuscript. Why not? When it was returned I noticed it had only six pages with noticeable fingerprints on them along with some coffee stains on page 132 (Did they stay up reading long into the night? If they did, they weren’t impressed. They promptly sent it back.), and decided I could easily re-use this particular manuscript. So I printed out replacement pages for the soiled ones, but immediately noticed the color of the paper didn’t match. I set out to find a ream of paper that would. After three tries I stumbled upon the correct copy paper that I must have originally purchased. The new pages I printed couldn’t be detected from the original pages that I printed. Cool! Then I realized it would have been cheaper just to reprint the entire manuscript.
I was more miserable than ever. I’d wasted all that time and money chasing and buying paper, not to mention the gas I burned up going to those places in the first place. Bummer. To ease my pain, I reminded myself that I would be using this paper for many days ahead as I got busy on my current manuscript.
Soon after, I happened to be in Nashville touring with the Dixie Darlin’s and decided to drop the twenty-three-times-rejected manuscript off for my publisher to read. I hadn’t previously approached him because I was so sure I could secure N.Y. representation. Huh! Well, he loved it and called me to tell me he was bringing it out in hardcover that September. I was overjoyed and promptly threw out all the letters that had the word BUT in them. What did they know?
On to my next novel. When I finished, I queried Rachelle Gardner with WordServe Literary. (She has a great blog! Check it out.) Rants & Ramblings, On Life as a Literary Agent. She called to tell me she loved the novel and would very much like to represent me, if I was willing to do some work on an edit. Was I? I’d climb Mount Everest to do so if it meant representation. We sealed the deal. She would be my agent. And to think I hadn’t even had to send it off to any of those places that sent back letters with the word BUT in them. Cool!
This is exactly how it happened. I have to be honest. My mother’s words are imbedded in my brain: Always tell the truth; you don’t have to keep the facts straight.
Jackie Lee Miles is the author or Roseflower Creek, Cold Rock River, Divorcing Dwayne and the soon to be released All That’s True. (Jan. 2011). Visit the website at http://www.jlmiles.com. Write the author at jackie@jlmiles.com.
I stumbled across an agency that listed James Patterson as one of their clients. I was clueless to the fact that they no longer represented him. In truth it was his earlier books that they’d sold. Even so, had I known I would have been duly impressed. They also listed the words NO SOLICITATION. Now why would they include themselves in Guide to Literary Agents if they didn’t want to have inquiries? My thoughts exactly.
I promptly called them up. A very pleasant voice greeted me on the phone. I explained that I was a newbody-nobody, but had sold my book and needed representation. Did they have an agent there that might be interested in me? She told me to hold on and eventually connected with me one of their agents who said she would not represent me, even though I had sold my novel, unless she truly liked it. That sounded reasonable. I asked her if I could send it to her. I went on to explain that I needed her answer yesterday. She laughed and said to overnight it and she’d take a look. I did. She called me the next evening and told me that it had probably happened to her before, but she couldn’t remember when, that she’d sat down to read a manuscript and didn’t get up until she’d finished it.
I said, “Does this mean you’ll represent me?” She laughed again (I liked her immensely already), and assured me she would. Her name was Sarah Piel and she was with Arthur Pine Associates, now known as Inkwell Management.
Sarah did a good job for me negotiating my contract and I got busy with my second novel. By the time that I’d finished it Sarah was no long with Arthur Pine. She’d left the industry to birth children and didn’t bother to tell me. Worse, Arthur Pine no longer existed. By now, they’d merged with the two other agencies to form Inkwell Management and no one at Arthur Pine, not even Sarah, had made mention of me to any of the agents there. I would have to start querying.
I got busy and composed what I felt was a strong query letter and started sending it off. Eventually I sent it to twenty-five agents in N.Y. and managed to hear back from twenty-three of them to either send the first three chapters or in many cases the entire manuscript. I was tap-dancing on the clouds. I figured I only had to get an acceptance from one of them and it had to be a numbers game. Surely one of the twenty-three would want me. After all, I was already published and now touring with the Dixie Darlin’s, four nationally published authors with a passion for promotion that had managed to make one-hundred appearances. Piece of cake.
Never slice your cake until someone’s ready to eat it. One by one all twenty-three agencies wrote back, with several saying some pretty nice things. Regardless, they also added the word, BUT, at the end of their last sentence. BUT ~ it didn’t fit into their list, BUT ~ they couldn’t determine where to place it. BUT ~ they had just purchased something similar. You name it ~ there was a BUT at the end of each letter. So much for it being a numbers game.
I was too discouraged to send out another host of queries. The first batch had cost me a small fortune considering they had all asked for hard copies and I’d sent each of them a fresh one. Okay, I admit I reused one manuscript. Why not? When it was returned I noticed it had only six pages with noticeable fingerprints on them along with some coffee stains on page 132 (Did they stay up reading long into the night? If they did, they weren’t impressed. They promptly sent it back.), and decided I could easily re-use this particular manuscript. So I printed out replacement pages for the soiled ones, but immediately noticed the color of the paper didn’t match. I set out to find a ream of paper that would. After three tries I stumbled upon the correct copy paper that I must have originally purchased. The new pages I printed couldn’t be detected from the original pages that I printed. Cool! Then I realized it would have been cheaper just to reprint the entire manuscript.
I was more miserable than ever. I’d wasted all that time and money chasing and buying paper, not to mention the gas I burned up going to those places in the first place. Bummer. To ease my pain, I reminded myself that I would be using this paper for many days ahead as I got busy on my current manuscript.
Soon after, I happened to be in Nashville touring with the Dixie Darlin’s and decided to drop the twenty-three-times-rejected manuscript off for my publisher to read. I hadn’t previously approached him because I was so sure I could secure N.Y. representation. Huh! Well, he loved it and called me to tell me he was bringing it out in hardcover that September. I was overjoyed and promptly threw out all the letters that had the word BUT in them. What did they know?
On to my next novel. When I finished, I queried Rachelle Gardner with WordServe Literary. (She has a great blog! Check it out.) Rants & Ramblings, On Life as a Literary Agent. She called to tell me she loved the novel and would very much like to represent me, if I was willing to do some work on an edit. Was I? I’d climb Mount Everest to do so if it meant representation. We sealed the deal. She would be my agent. And to think I hadn’t even had to send it off to any of those places that sent back letters with the word BUT in them. Cool!
This is exactly how it happened. I have to be honest. My mother’s words are imbedded in my brain: Always tell the truth; you don’t have to keep the facts straight.
Jackie Lee Miles is the author or Roseflower Creek, Cold Rock River, Divorcing Dwayne and the soon to be released All That’s True. (Jan. 2011). Visit the website at http://www.jlmiles.com. Write the author at jackie@jlmiles.com.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
THE DIRECTION OF PUBLISHING
Taking my writing to the next level is a tough assignment for me. I’m not very savvy when it comes to the Internet world which is where the future of publishing seems to be residing. I did manage to post a bio and my author photo on Facebook, but it took more than a half-dozen attempts and three Bloody Mary’s. How’s that for efficiency? Which by the way is a perfect example of how well versed I am in Twitter and various other social networks.
I prefer the old standard for keeping in touch with readers: book signings, book festivals and workshops. But I do have a website. I understand a website is no longer optional but an important part of an author’s platform. Mine is set up okay thanks to a very savvy and talented web designer. The problem is that it’s not interactive and I’m not sure what to do to make that happen. I do try to post blogs on it as often as I can, but that has been mostly once a month and my blogs don’t do anything but sit there to be read. They do not offer a contest for free books, or offer a prize for the best vent. I’m working on changing that. I’m also working on getting acquainted with all of the social networks and how to best take advantage of them, but it’s slow going.
Last year I hired Authorbuzz.com to do some promotion for me, and it seemed to work. I still show up now and then in their top 100 books for book clubs. But they did all the work. All I had to do was send them my bio and a book cover and author photo, which I found I could handle. I got acquainted with “attachments”. It was a big accomplishment for me. After Authorbuzz, I hired PumpUpYourBook.com to do a virtual tour of my latest book and they did a great job. I’m not sure if I held up my end, however, as I was supposed to do something called Technorati and I never did figure it out, so I’m not sure if my tour was as effective as it could have been.
Thankfully, Sourcebooks, my new publisher who bought Cumberland House, my original publisher, has decided to take my books to the next level themselves. They are re-releasing Roseflower Creek and Cold Rock River with new book covers and a new author campaign to boot. I’ve been told this is highly unusual, so I am very grateful to them for loving my books enough to give them a second chance. Look for Roseflower Creek in May of 2010, Cold Rock River in September 2010. And also keep an eye out for my latest book, All That’s True, which Sourcebook is releasing in January 2011.
This is all pretty exciting, and it will give me plenty of time to get more acquainted with the marketing available via the internet. All of it still scares the daylights out of me, but I’m determined to conquer my fears. I just have to get the Bloody Mary’s ready and I’ll be all set to dive in.
Jackie Lee Miles is the author or Roseflower Creek , Cold Rock River and Divorcing Dwayne. Look for the release of All That’s True in January of 2011. Visit the website at jlmiles.com. Write to the author at Jackie@jlmiles.com.
I prefer the old standard for keeping in touch with readers: book signings, book festivals and workshops. But I do have a website. I understand a website is no longer optional but an important part of an author’s platform. Mine is set up okay thanks to a very savvy and talented web designer. The problem is that it’s not interactive and I’m not sure what to do to make that happen. I do try to post blogs on it as often as I can, but that has been mostly once a month and my blogs don’t do anything but sit there to be read. They do not offer a contest for free books, or offer a prize for the best vent. I’m working on changing that. I’m also working on getting acquainted with all of the social networks and how to best take advantage of them, but it’s slow going.
Last year I hired Authorbuzz.com to do some promotion for me, and it seemed to work. I still show up now and then in their top 100 books for book clubs. But they did all the work. All I had to do was send them my bio and a book cover and author photo, which I found I could handle. I got acquainted with “attachments”. It was a big accomplishment for me. After Authorbuzz, I hired PumpUpYourBook.com to do a virtual tour of my latest book and they did a great job. I’m not sure if I held up my end, however, as I was supposed to do something called Technorati and I never did figure it out, so I’m not sure if my tour was as effective as it could have been.
Thankfully, Sourcebooks, my new publisher who bought Cumberland House, my original publisher, has decided to take my books to the next level themselves. They are re-releasing Roseflower Creek and Cold Rock River with new book covers and a new author campaign to boot. I’ve been told this is highly unusual, so I am very grateful to them for loving my books enough to give them a second chance. Look for Roseflower Creek in May of 2010, Cold Rock River in September 2010. And also keep an eye out for my latest book, All That’s True, which Sourcebook is releasing in January 2011.
This is all pretty exciting, and it will give me plenty of time to get more acquainted with the marketing available via the internet. All of it still scares the daylights out of me, but I’m determined to conquer my fears. I just have to get the Bloody Mary’s ready and I’ll be all set to dive in.
Jackie Lee Miles is the author or Roseflower Creek , Cold Rock River and Divorcing Dwayne. Look for the release of All That’s True in January of 2011. Visit the website at jlmiles.com. Write to the author at Jackie@jlmiles.com.
Friday, November 6, 2009
REVIEWS TO MAKE YOU CRY
I once saw this commercial that showed an alligator meandering across the floor of an enormous and beautiful white room (furniture, curtains and all), and this lady was sitting on a divan with a bottle of lotion in her hand, and she was admiring her silky smooth skin. I didn’t write down what lotion she was hawking. I already had four bottles under my bathroom sink that hadn’t done any good whatsoever, so I didn’t care, plus I didn’t trust her. I figured she was getting paid so how can you count on her actions anyway. I did notice that the alligator didn’t eat her, which made it a pretty weird commercial if you ask me.
I’m thinking about this commercial because I’m reading the latest review on Amazon.com for my novel Cold Rock River, and all I can say is I will never buy that bottle of lotion even if I could find out which one it was that girl in the commercial on the white divan was using. I don’t want silky, smooth skin. I want skin like that alligator. I want skin that is incapable of any arrows penetrating the surface. I want skin that is impervious to any and all injury. I’m an author and I need skin thicker than cement. Skin like that should absolutely come with publication. You sign your contract and poof! your skin instantly turns to concrete. Done deal.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy and the reviews that eventually pile up (especially on Amazon.com) can be injurious to one’s mental health. In my own case I was sailing along quite nicely, wracking up some pretty nifty five-star reviews and getting a bit overly confident (never get overly confident), and thinking that maybe I’d written a couple of books well worth reading.
That’s when you need to watch out. Smacko! Right in the kisser! It will get you: An uglier than ugly review that says your book is not worth buying. This is what one reader wrote about mine: After reading Dorothy Allison, Fannie Flagg, Alice Walker, Connie May Fowler, Rebecca Wells (which all deserve to be read, unlike this novel), this was a very contrived and poor attempt to do what these writers have already done.
Outch!! Didn’t their mother ever tell them if they have nothing nice to say not to say anything at all? Or at least to be gentle with whatever it is they are trying to say. Couldn’t this author have simply said she did not like the novel and found it lacking in what other southern writers have managed to do. Which might have caused some readers to order the book just to find out what it was that I didn’t do. One never knows. Which got me to thinking. Maybe her one-star ugly review is not all bad. Maybe it stands out among all the five-star reviews as a sour apple. That’s it. That’s what I tell myself. Look at all those other fabulous five-star reviews on Amazon and what they have to say. I start reading through the list of the titles just to be sure: Fantastic! Another winner! Breathtaking and mesmeric! Wonderful & riveting. An engrossing novel. Simply outstanding. An amazing book. I keep going. I find the ultimate title posted: I couldn’t put it down! I’m tap-dancing on the clouds. Forget the person who gave me one star and said I wasn’t worth reading. What do they know? Exactly.
That’s when I spot it—another review. It’s there among all the others. It says. Cumbersome and ultimately predictable. Ugh!! Those ugly words head straight to my heart. But, then I remember a favorite adage my mother used to quote about fooling people. I’m thinking that adage covers pleasing people, too. You can please some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.
If I’m going to keep writing I best remember that. But in case I forget, the next time I see that alligator commercial I’m going to call the station and see what kind of lotion they’re using on him. I might need some. His skin looks pretty thick.
I’m thinking about this commercial because I’m reading the latest review on Amazon.com for my novel Cold Rock River, and all I can say is I will never buy that bottle of lotion even if I could find out which one it was that girl in the commercial on the white divan was using. I don’t want silky, smooth skin. I want skin like that alligator. I want skin that is incapable of any arrows penetrating the surface. I want skin that is impervious to any and all injury. I’m an author and I need skin thicker than cement. Skin like that should absolutely come with publication. You sign your contract and poof! your skin instantly turns to concrete. Done deal.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy and the reviews that eventually pile up (especially on Amazon.com) can be injurious to one’s mental health. In my own case I was sailing along quite nicely, wracking up some pretty nifty five-star reviews and getting a bit overly confident (never get overly confident), and thinking that maybe I’d written a couple of books well worth reading.
That’s when you need to watch out. Smacko! Right in the kisser! It will get you: An uglier than ugly review that says your book is not worth buying. This is what one reader wrote about mine: After reading Dorothy Allison, Fannie Flagg, Alice Walker, Connie May Fowler, Rebecca Wells (which all deserve to be read, unlike this novel), this was a very contrived and poor attempt to do what these writers have already done.
Outch!! Didn’t their mother ever tell them if they have nothing nice to say not to say anything at all? Or at least to be gentle with whatever it is they are trying to say. Couldn’t this author have simply said she did not like the novel and found it lacking in what other southern writers have managed to do. Which might have caused some readers to order the book just to find out what it was that I didn’t do. One never knows. Which got me to thinking. Maybe her one-star ugly review is not all bad. Maybe it stands out among all the five-star reviews as a sour apple. That’s it. That’s what I tell myself. Look at all those other fabulous five-star reviews on Amazon and what they have to say. I start reading through the list of the titles just to be sure: Fantastic! Another winner! Breathtaking and mesmeric! Wonderful & riveting. An engrossing novel. Simply outstanding. An amazing book. I keep going. I find the ultimate title posted: I couldn’t put it down! I’m tap-dancing on the clouds. Forget the person who gave me one star and said I wasn’t worth reading. What do they know? Exactly.
That’s when I spot it—another review. It’s there among all the others. It says. Cumbersome and ultimately predictable. Ugh!! Those ugly words head straight to my heart. But, then I remember a favorite adage my mother used to quote about fooling people. I’m thinking that adage covers pleasing people, too. You can please some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.
If I’m going to keep writing I best remember that. But in case I forget, the next time I see that alligator commercial I’m going to call the station and see what kind of lotion they’re using on him. I might need some. His skin looks pretty thick.
Friday, October 16, 2009
BUYER BEWARE
I’ve noticed lately I’m getting more and more wrinkles. If this keeps up my face will look like a roadmap. I saw this ad on TV that said I could turn back time—just by buying their product. I bought three jars. They lied. The only thing that got turned back was the check I wrote to pay for their products. It didn’t quite clear my bank. I called them up (the product people, not the bank) and told them it would be alright. I was going to ask for a refund anyway. They weren’t amused.
I think that any and all products being advertised should do exactly what they say they’ll do or the people advertising them should immediately suffer serious and permanent consequences, like getting a case of incurable dandruff, or developing uncontrolled facial ticks. Take the skin care folks—at the very least they should be hit with a terminal case of zits.
The problem is, before long thousands of people would be running around with dandruff and pimples and facial ticks. I say this because it seems everyone selling something lately exaggerates and gets away with it. I went to this laser clinic for hair removal. They promised after six treatments I’d never shave my legs again. They also said it was a virtually painless procedure. Always listen up when someone uses the word “virtually”. It means the same thing as when a doctor says there might be some discomfort.
The only thing the laser clinic didn’t lie about was the price. It would be three mortgage payments, payable in advance. You’d think I would have learned my lesson after that fiasco, but oh no, I’m still out there reading and believing all the hype slick advertisers hand out. Just last month, I read an article in the newspaper—well, it looked like an article, but was actually an ad for weight loss camouflaged to look like an article written by some prominent doctor I’ve never heard of. Anyway, their product guaranteed that you would lose seven pounds in your sleep the first week alone. I bought some of that, too. And I did lose seven pounds, just like they said. Mostly because I lived with my head stuck in the toilet for eight days straight. The product made me sicker than my cat when she swallowed a year’s supply of fur balls in one setting.
And that’s just one of the weight loss products on the market. There are approximately three millions others that claim you can achieve the same results. In addition to weight loss, skin care, and hair removal, there are scads of other companies promising to remove cellulite, firm your under arms and whiten your teeth, not to mention give you fingernails stronger than nails, erase under-eye circles and stop you from ever passing gas. Right, like I believe that. But, you name it, and there’s a product out there promising to fix it. And that’s just products. What about all the procedures being touted as a total cure-all for what ails one. There’s liposuction, micro-dermabrasion, Botox, silicone and collagen. The list goes on. Basically, the entire human body can be re-done so that your own mother wouldn’t recognize you. Now, why would I want that? It’s taken me all these years to get her to notice me in the first place. But that’s another story. Right now I think I’ll just stop believing in all the hype I read about or see on television and be content that I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser), and I have the looks to prove it. In the meantime, be careful what you believe in. There are a lot of advertisers out there with a lot of hype and mostly they can say what they want and charge what they will. Buyer beware!
I think that any and all products being advertised should do exactly what they say they’ll do or the people advertising them should immediately suffer serious and permanent consequences, like getting a case of incurable dandruff, or developing uncontrolled facial ticks. Take the skin care folks—at the very least they should be hit with a terminal case of zits.
The problem is, before long thousands of people would be running around with dandruff and pimples and facial ticks. I say this because it seems everyone selling something lately exaggerates and gets away with it. I went to this laser clinic for hair removal. They promised after six treatments I’d never shave my legs again. They also said it was a virtually painless procedure. Always listen up when someone uses the word “virtually”. It means the same thing as when a doctor says there might be some discomfort.
The only thing the laser clinic didn’t lie about was the price. It would be three mortgage payments, payable in advance. You’d think I would have learned my lesson after that fiasco, but oh no, I’m still out there reading and believing all the hype slick advertisers hand out. Just last month, I read an article in the newspaper—well, it looked like an article, but was actually an ad for weight loss camouflaged to look like an article written by some prominent doctor I’ve never heard of. Anyway, their product guaranteed that you would lose seven pounds in your sleep the first week alone. I bought some of that, too. And I did lose seven pounds, just like they said. Mostly because I lived with my head stuck in the toilet for eight days straight. The product made me sicker than my cat when she swallowed a year’s supply of fur balls in one setting.
And that’s just one of the weight loss products on the market. There are approximately three millions others that claim you can achieve the same results. In addition to weight loss, skin care, and hair removal, there are scads of other companies promising to remove cellulite, firm your under arms and whiten your teeth, not to mention give you fingernails stronger than nails, erase under-eye circles and stop you from ever passing gas. Right, like I believe that. But, you name it, and there’s a product out there promising to fix it. And that’s just products. What about all the procedures being touted as a total cure-all for what ails one. There’s liposuction, micro-dermabrasion, Botox, silicone and collagen. The list goes on. Basically, the entire human body can be re-done so that your own mother wouldn’t recognize you. Now, why would I want that? It’s taken me all these years to get her to notice me in the first place. But that’s another story. Right now I think I’ll just stop believing in all the hype I read about or see on television and be content that I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser), and I have the looks to prove it. In the meantime, be careful what you believe in. There are a lot of advertisers out there with a lot of hype and mostly they can say what they want and charge what they will. Buyer beware!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
THIS WRITERS LIFE
I'm often asked about my process as a writer. Oh, boy—that’s a hard question to answer. I’m sort of an organic writer in that I first hear my protagonist’s voice in my head and it’s always very loud so I listen closely to it. My family thinks I’m totally crazy because I’m hearing voices and they don’t pay me any attention other than to inquire now and then if I am seeking therapy. I pay them no attention, either. I keep listening to my voices.
When my protagonist first speaks, I listen carefully to what she is saying and try to determine where she’s at in her life. From there I hit the keyboard and keep going until I come to a complete stop and then I usually say, “Oh, shi—now what? That’s when I start a sort of outline. By sort of, I mean I think of events that would naturally occur in this particular protagonist’s life and then try to think of ways to expound upon them that will have relevance to the story arc, which I have yet to determine, but am working on. Basically, I’m a total mess and get depressed and walk around the house in circles until I come up with something. Then I sit back down to the keyboard and pound out some more words and low and behold some days it’s pretty good, which gets me going and then I keep going until I hit another pothole and then I start walking around in circles again.
Once I get to the halfway mark I start thinking about what the climax to this story should be and why, and then I take a hammer and kill myself if I can’t come up with something really good. If I am still alive in the morning I continue on and write down what the climax should definitely be and head to the resolution. Sometimes it works out pretty good. Then I discard the hammer and open a bottle of wine and sort of celebrate because I’m almost there.
Right now I am NOT almost there. I’m just beginning. I have started a new novel, SUMMER CREEK. In this novel, twelve-year-old Mary Alice Munford struggles with the knowledge that her mother plans to marry her father, a man who abandoned them before she was born. I love the opening:
When I was very little my mother would tell me stories about why my father wasn’t with us. First she said he was away in the war going on in Asia. Vietnam. Then she said he was trying to heal from the wounds in his head that made him forget us. Later she said he was on assignment with the Secret Service. “Hogwash,” Granny Ruth said. “She’s filling your head with garbage.”
Granny never agrees with my mother. She is also convinced she has a bad heart and is busy planning her funeral. Ours is not a happy household. There is me, my mother, Granny Ruth, and Aunt Josie, whose husband, my Uncle Earnest fell under a combine so I never met him. Aunt Josie believes in reincarnation and thinks Uncle Earnest could turn up in any form. “You never know,” she says.
So, mostly my family is crazy. My mother thinks marrying my father, even though he abandoned her when she was pregnant with me and never looked back, is the answer to her prayers; my grandmother thinks she’s dying every other hour, and my Aunt Josie is convinced Uncle Earnest could come back as a frog or some stranger who will bring home a paycheck. I’m right in the middle. You tell me how I am to survive this and be okay.
So now I have the opening and am walking in circles with the hammer close by. Hopefully I will get some ideas before I have to use it.
In the interim I have some good news to celebrate. Sourcebooks has bought my latest project: ALL THAT’S TRUE. They call it “an authentic coming-of-age novel with a terrific takeaway.” It follows Andrea St. James, Andi for short, whose privileged life is interrupted in the summer of 1991 during the first Desert Storm, when she discovers her father is having an affair with her best friend’s sexy new step-mother. With an equal mix of joy and sorrow, it follows Andi’s poignant and sometime laughable journey to young adulthood where she struggles with the elusive nature of truth and the devastating consequences of deception. Look for it in 2010.
In the meantime I’m back at the keyboard. I have an idea on how to continue SUMMER CREEK, so for today I’ve set the hammer aside. This is good news. I have enough dents in my head.
When my protagonist first speaks, I listen carefully to what she is saying and try to determine where she’s at in her life. From there I hit the keyboard and keep going until I come to a complete stop and then I usually say, “Oh, shi—now what? That’s when I start a sort of outline. By sort of, I mean I think of events that would naturally occur in this particular protagonist’s life and then try to think of ways to expound upon them that will have relevance to the story arc, which I have yet to determine, but am working on. Basically, I’m a total mess and get depressed and walk around the house in circles until I come up with something. Then I sit back down to the keyboard and pound out some more words and low and behold some days it’s pretty good, which gets me going and then I keep going until I hit another pothole and then I start walking around in circles again.
Once I get to the halfway mark I start thinking about what the climax to this story should be and why, and then I take a hammer and kill myself if I can’t come up with something really good. If I am still alive in the morning I continue on and write down what the climax should definitely be and head to the resolution. Sometimes it works out pretty good. Then I discard the hammer and open a bottle of wine and sort of celebrate because I’m almost there.
Right now I am NOT almost there. I’m just beginning. I have started a new novel, SUMMER CREEK. In this novel, twelve-year-old Mary Alice Munford struggles with the knowledge that her mother plans to marry her father, a man who abandoned them before she was born. I love the opening:
When I was very little my mother would tell me stories about why my father wasn’t with us. First she said he was away in the war going on in Asia. Vietnam. Then she said he was trying to heal from the wounds in his head that made him forget us. Later she said he was on assignment with the Secret Service. “Hogwash,” Granny Ruth said. “She’s filling your head with garbage.”
Granny never agrees with my mother. She is also convinced she has a bad heart and is busy planning her funeral. Ours is not a happy household. There is me, my mother, Granny Ruth, and Aunt Josie, whose husband, my Uncle Earnest fell under a combine so I never met him. Aunt Josie believes in reincarnation and thinks Uncle Earnest could turn up in any form. “You never know,” she says.
So, mostly my family is crazy. My mother thinks marrying my father, even though he abandoned her when she was pregnant with me and never looked back, is the answer to her prayers; my grandmother thinks she’s dying every other hour, and my Aunt Josie is convinced Uncle Earnest could come back as a frog or some stranger who will bring home a paycheck. I’m right in the middle. You tell me how I am to survive this and be okay.
So now I have the opening and am walking in circles with the hammer close by. Hopefully I will get some ideas before I have to use it.
In the interim I have some good news to celebrate. Sourcebooks has bought my latest project: ALL THAT’S TRUE. They call it “an authentic coming-of-age novel with a terrific takeaway.” It follows Andrea St. James, Andi for short, whose privileged life is interrupted in the summer of 1991 during the first Desert Storm, when she discovers her father is having an affair with her best friend’s sexy new step-mother. With an equal mix of joy and sorrow, it follows Andi’s poignant and sometime laughable journey to young adulthood where she struggles with the elusive nature of truth and the devastating consequences of deception. Look for it in 2010.
In the meantime I’m back at the keyboard. I have an idea on how to continue SUMMER CREEK, so for today I’ve set the hammer aside. This is good news. I have enough dents in my head.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
ADVICE I'VE BEEN GIVEN
I'm often asked what advice would I offer new writers? That's a scary question. I’m not usually handing out advice. I’m in search of it. And the first person I contact on my search is my friend and author Karin Gillespie. She truly has all the answers and is eager to share all that she knows when you ask. She’s an angel and a god-send.
So what do I know about writing and what can I share with writers who are eager to be published? First off, let me tell you five things I’ve been told and then I will share with you five things that I actually do. I’ve been told to:
Write everyday.
This is very good advice. It reminds me of what my mother used to tell me, “If you want to keep riding, better stay on the horse.” Writing everyday keeps your muse in touch with your brain. If you don’t write everyday you will get rusty. You will get lazy. You will have trouble connecting to your muse. Actually, I was told to write everyday. All the other sentences above are ones I filled in on my own, because that is what that sentence Write everyday did to me. It made be very fearful. When the experts said write every day, I figured if I didn’t, I was doomed. I was a goner. I’d never produce anything. So I try to write everyday.
Write what you know.
This too, is good advice. If you write what you know there will be less research you need to do. You can finish your manuscript faster. If you write what you know you will never look stupid; you won’t have to make things up, you can pass on what you know. This particular instruction to write what I know scared the he-be-ge-beze out of me because I really don’t know all that much. I know I just like to write.
Write in a journal.
All good writers I have met at book conferences and book festivals insist that they write in journals. And they insist that they have done so since second grade when they learned cursive. Obviously, writing in a journal is a very valuable experience. The contents can be mined later for all sorts of information to put in your novels. You will not forget tidbits from your past that could be useful when constructing them. Obviously writing in a journal is very important.
Join a critique group.
And the sooner, the better. They will let you know if you are running astray. They will offer valuable information that will tell you if your novel is going in the right direction or not. Critique groups are essential for your literary growth. You will become a stronger, more prolific writer by having a critique group to analyze your work.
Do not edit while you are writing your first draft.
This is very important guidance. It is an important rule and it is a pity that I do not follow it. But then I’ve always had trouble with rules. Aren’t they meant to be broken?
Okay, now for five things that I do:
Consider the first rule: Write every day.
I write every other day. The day in between I read. I read what I’ve written. I read from books that are like mine. I read from books that have a similar voice to mine. I read from books that are different from mine. I just read, read, read, period and see where it takes me. By the next day I am more than eager to write. I am anxious to write. Why not? I’ve been reading, reading, reading.
The second rule: Write what you know.
This is a good rule. I don’t follow it. I write what I love. I figure what I don’t know I will promptly find out. When you write what you know, it’s too easy. The words fall onto the page. What joy is there in that? When you write what you don’t know you spend hours researching. The words spill onto the page like they’ve been drained from your blood.
The third rule: Write in a journal.
I have never kept a journal. I do not want a reminder of all my days. The good ones I remember all on my own. The bad ones I’m hoping to forget. Like the time I almost let my sister drown. Or the day she nearly choked on a jelly bean. These memories are fifty years old. I don’t need a journal to recall them. These and memories like them come visit me all on their own.
Number four: Join a critique group.
This is excellent advice. I believe in critique groups. And I even joined one once. That particular one was too far away to continue, so I quit going. I should have searched for another group and I didn’t. And then I had no trouble getting published, so I figured why bother. Again, do not do what I do, do what the experts say: Join a critique group. You won’t be sorry.
Lastly: Do not edit while you write your first draft:
I do not follow this rule, either. I edit constantly as I am writing, but do not do what I do, do what the experts say. Editing while you write means it will take you forever to finish your novel. It did not take me forever, but then I am weird, so again do not edit while you are writing. It’s a written rule that I have read many times and I believe that it is true. I just can’t follow it. I naturally edit while I’m writing and immediately after I write, especially if I am re-reading what I’ve written. Besides, I have always had trouble with rules. Aren’t they meant to be broken?
One major rule that I believe in and one that I feel should not be broken is to:
Read, read, read—everything you can get your hands on. Read all the genres that are like the genres you are writing in. Read genres that are unlike your own. Read all of the best sellers. This is what the public is buying. Read all of the literature of old that teaches the way the written word should fall upon the page.
My last rule is for you not to take too seriously anything I say. Who knows how far I will get in my writing career? Exactly. So dear writer: beware. And God speed and God bless you on your writing journey.
So what do I know about writing and what can I share with writers who are eager to be published? First off, let me tell you five things I’ve been told and then I will share with you five things that I actually do. I’ve been told to:
Write everyday.
This is very good advice. It reminds me of what my mother used to tell me, “If you want to keep riding, better stay on the horse.” Writing everyday keeps your muse in touch with your brain. If you don’t write everyday you will get rusty. You will get lazy. You will have trouble connecting to your muse. Actually, I was told to write everyday. All the other sentences above are ones I filled in on my own, because that is what that sentence Write everyday did to me. It made be very fearful. When the experts said write every day, I figured if I didn’t, I was doomed. I was a goner. I’d never produce anything. So I try to write everyday.
Write what you know.
This too, is good advice. If you write what you know there will be less research you need to do. You can finish your manuscript faster. If you write what you know you will never look stupid; you won’t have to make things up, you can pass on what you know. This particular instruction to write what I know scared the he-be-ge-beze out of me because I really don’t know all that much. I know I just like to write.
Write in a journal.
All good writers I have met at book conferences and book festivals insist that they write in journals. And they insist that they have done so since second grade when they learned cursive. Obviously, writing in a journal is a very valuable experience. The contents can be mined later for all sorts of information to put in your novels. You will not forget tidbits from your past that could be useful when constructing them. Obviously writing in a journal is very important.
Join a critique group.
And the sooner, the better. They will let you know if you are running astray. They will offer valuable information that will tell you if your novel is going in the right direction or not. Critique groups are essential for your literary growth. You will become a stronger, more prolific writer by having a critique group to analyze your work.
Do not edit while you are writing your first draft.
This is very important guidance. It is an important rule and it is a pity that I do not follow it. But then I’ve always had trouble with rules. Aren’t they meant to be broken?
Okay, now for five things that I do:
Consider the first rule: Write every day.
I write every other day. The day in between I read. I read what I’ve written. I read from books that are like mine. I read from books that have a similar voice to mine. I read from books that are different from mine. I just read, read, read, period and see where it takes me. By the next day I am more than eager to write. I am anxious to write. Why not? I’ve been reading, reading, reading.
The second rule: Write what you know.
This is a good rule. I don’t follow it. I write what I love. I figure what I don’t know I will promptly find out. When you write what you know, it’s too easy. The words fall onto the page. What joy is there in that? When you write what you don’t know you spend hours researching. The words spill onto the page like they’ve been drained from your blood.
The third rule: Write in a journal.
I have never kept a journal. I do not want a reminder of all my days. The good ones I remember all on my own. The bad ones I’m hoping to forget. Like the time I almost let my sister drown. Or the day she nearly choked on a jelly bean. These memories are fifty years old. I don’t need a journal to recall them. These and memories like them come visit me all on their own.
Number four: Join a critique group.
This is excellent advice. I believe in critique groups. And I even joined one once. That particular one was too far away to continue, so I quit going. I should have searched for another group and I didn’t. And then I had no trouble getting published, so I figured why bother. Again, do not do what I do, do what the experts say: Join a critique group. You won’t be sorry.
Lastly: Do not edit while you write your first draft:
I do not follow this rule, either. I edit constantly as I am writing, but do not do what I do, do what the experts say. Editing while you write means it will take you forever to finish your novel. It did not take me forever, but then I am weird, so again do not edit while you are writing. It’s a written rule that I have read many times and I believe that it is true. I just can’t follow it. I naturally edit while I’m writing and immediately after I write, especially if I am re-reading what I’ve written. Besides, I have always had trouble with rules. Aren’t they meant to be broken?
One major rule that I believe in and one that I feel should not be broken is to:
Read, read, read—everything you can get your hands on. Read all the genres that are like the genres you are writing in. Read genres that are unlike your own. Read all of the best sellers. This is what the public is buying. Read all of the literature of old that teaches the way the written word should fall upon the page.
My last rule is for you not to take too seriously anything I say. Who knows how far I will get in my writing career? Exactly. So dear writer: beware. And God speed and God bless you on your writing journey.
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